Plant and Flower Puns Guaranteed to Make You Laugh
Aug12

Plant and Flower Puns Guaranteed to Make You Laugh

Nothing says celebration than TGI Fridays! Regardless of how dreadful the week that was, there is nothing that can keep you from smiling because the weekend is in just a few hours away. Why don’t you start the weekend celebration with these plant and flower puns?

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The Broke Guy’s Guide to Winning a Girl’s Heart
May20

The Broke Guy’s Guide to Winning a Girl’s Heart

Not enough money in your pockets dude? You are troubled, literally broke and couldn’t find any other ideas to make your girl happy. What you lack is not cold, hard cash but creative imagination. It’s not entirely true that nothing is free. For a fact, emotions are free. To love is without cost. Our perception of what a perfect date look like is what makes our belief too narrow. We always think that a reservation in a fancy restaurant is very romantic. But if you come to think of it, all you get from that place is good food that will demand tons of money.Basically, you should start thinking out of the box. There is something dreamy with a spontaneous date. You don’t have to completely plan everything. Sometimes you just have to act on the first idea that comes to mind. You can even just pick out fresh red roses online or from your backyard to surprise her. Winning a girl’s heart is no simple task. Nevertheless, you can always start by showing how much you love her through simple things. Don’t worry too much about the “simple things”, we have here some cost-effective date ideas to put you out of your misery. Go outside and have a picnicImage sourceCome up with a place that is an ideal venue for a hearty outdoor meal. Preferably one that has a clear and flat area where one could sit on. You absolutely don’t want your girl to feel back pains after sitting and chatting all day with you. She needs to be comfortable so...

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10 Valentine’s Day Fails You’ll Be Glad You Didn’t Do
Feb17

10 Valentine’s Day Fails You’ll Be Glad You Didn’t Do

How did your Valentine’s Day go? Was it the way you hoped it would be? Without a doubt, Valentine’s Day is one of the most celebrated occasions in the history of occasions. There are many ways to celebrate the day of hearts. Some people go out of their way to make the day truly special while some opt to keep things low key and simply order flowers online for loved ones. While many may try their best to make the special day go smoothly, there are some unfortunate souls who sadly commit mishaps that can make the occasion a disaster of some sort. With hearts day still fresh in everyone’s minds, let’s have a look at some of the worst (or best?) Valentine’s Day fails which hopefully you didn’t make. You may also want to take note so you don’t make the same mistake next year. #1. This cake. Not sure if he’s really in dire need of some warmth or just bragging. #2. And this cake. Enjoy what? Take it easy on the abbreviations. Some people might take it the wrong way.  #3. This conversation heart. If you have a Grammar Nazi for a boyfriend/girlfriend, you better make sure not to give something like this or your date just might end up as a grammar lecture. #4. This overly expressive toilet paper. While it’s the thought that counts, this might not be the most romantic idea. Surely you can do better. #5. This (less than) romantic gift. Come on, a pre-arranged funeral is not exactly the kind of gift your loved one is dying to...

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Ladies: We are Secret Sadistic Devils!
Oct15

Ladies: We are Secret Sadistic Devils!

The soothing relaxing aroma of perfumed oils and candles, the smooth and tranquil tones from the background music, the clean fresh sheets on a very comfortable bed, lying back buck naked with a towel around the nakedness waiting for the pain to start! Nope, this is not a scene from 50 Shades of Grey – it’s the monthly grooming session at the expensive Spa! Although – the torture involved is probably close if not more sadistic than a scene with Christian Grey! The lovely soft-spoken lady (who views your girly parts with more scrutiny than your Gynaecologist) standing at the bottom of the bed readying the torture material to rid you of any unsightly excess hair! As a modern-day woman, there are many things we do on a regular basis to make ourselves presentable to the outside world. The daily rituals of painting our faces, taming our hair and then the meticulous selection and re-selection of our clothes. The weekly dues of facials, manicure’s and pedicure’s. And then there is the monthly grooming practice that only you and whomever has the privilege of seeing your butt (pun intended) naked self will get to admire!   I asked a number of ladies on why they put themselves through all of this, and whether it was for the benefit of being attractive or desirable to the mate they are trying to attract? Believe it or not, the belief of beautifying ourselves for the reasons of attraction is a...

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Rock Solid Guns & Buns of Steel – The Perfect Man?
Sep29

Rock Solid Guns & Buns of Steel – The Perfect Man?

  Broad solid shoulders, angry sweat laden faces, six/eight packs (apparently they do exist!), thick sculptured thighs and of course the buns of steel! Yes Ladies – it’s the Rugby World Cup! The men in our lives are watching the games religiously for the pure adrenaline rush, National pride and in the back of their minds thinking they are as tough and mean as the men on the pitch. As much as the ladies like to support their favourite team, National pride and in general, just enjoy watching the sport – there is always the hot-blooded female in us that appreciates all that is beautiful in the male form disguised as the rugged Rugby player. As with all social drunken evenings between a group of good friends, inappropriate conversation is the order of the evening; the subject of what type of “Man” they were in terms of what they found as most attractive “physically” in a woman! (Hey, it was a drunken evening – all sexist remarks go straight out of the window!) Answers ranged from the typical breasts, legs, buttocks to colour of hair or colour of eyes! This had the ladies reciprocating back on what is “hot” and what is “not” for the male form! Yes, I believe we were more on the road to blottoed than just merely drunk!   A few of my female friends are still looking for their perfect “other-half” with a number of them using the latest in social media dating sites. We are mostly led to believe that it’s mostly...

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Wives – The Modern Day Super Heroes
Sep17

Wives – The Modern Day Super Heroes

Staring at a sink full of dishes and the bomb site that is my kitchen, I do what I always do; I roll my shirt sleeves up and start the cleaning process. Alas, this is my cliché married life. My husband is a good cook, but every time he cooks, the kitchen is a scene from a horror movie! He has tried washing up in the past, but I think he intentionally does it badly so that I don’t ask him to do it regularly! I put up with his feet up on the coffee table when he is watching TV; dirty clothes on the bathroom or bedroom floor; used mugs, plates, cutlery either haphazardly left around the tables, desks, and/or kitchen (but not sink!); even his annoying habit of emptying his pockets of keys, phone, lint, receipts, coins (why do men always just spend notes and leave the coins? What do they expect we’ll do with the jars and jars of change?) on the bedside table every evening instead of the designated “bowl” I have set aside for all his crap! Despite all of the annoying little things (that automatically become big things during the hormonal week!), he is the man who I vowed to love for better or for worse and that I am blessed to have him in my life. The jobs of today’s wives are not in any wedding rule books. Wives are now creatures that work hard, play hard and love hard!  We manage the home, the finances, the kids, the extended family, the friends, the extended friends AND the whinging husband! It’s a never-ending job,...

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Are You Ever Too Old to Have a Teddy Bear?
Sep07

Are You Ever Too Old to Have a Teddy Bear?

      I went through an era in my life that I loved and thought every stuffed toy was the biz! Except for Chucky! He was the bane of some of my most frightening childhood nightmares! A toy that could talk, wields a knife and has scary eyes – I could not look at any toy for months in fear that they would come to life! Strangely, not unlike the new star of the Teddy Bear world, “TED”, though instead of a knife, this “cute” looking teddy bear has a foul mouth and spouts sexual innuendoes at everything he sees. For some reason I was never a fan of the plastic dolls (Barbies & Cindys). Even at a young age I thought those types of toys were a little too girly for me, but a lot of my girlfriends would go out of their way to play with their Barbies and Kens and make happy families for them.   My interest started at Cabbage Patch Dolls. When they first came out on to the market they were cute (real definition – UGLY but INTERESTING). It was like looking at a really ugly baby – I can almost hear the shocked gasp of a million Mom’s saying “There is no such thing as an ugly baby”!  These little darlings had huge round heads, round stunned eyes, snubby noses and cheeks so rounded it looked like a bag of Marshmallows was stuffed in there.    My next phase with stuffed toys came later in life. I started to make up for it by winning stuffed toys from fairs and those arcade point-and-grab machines. I...

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My woes of giving a perfect gift to my Dad!
Aug26

My woes of giving a perfect gift to my Dad!

It’s Father’s Day this coming 6th September and I am at a complete loss as to what gift to get my Dad! It’s the same every year! Only with Parents do you end up getting three gifts a year! Birthday, Mother’s/Father’s Day and Christmas!  Mums are easy – anything goes! Flowers, Perfume, Clothes, Food, Spa treatment, etcetera. The list is endless for Mothers! When I was younger, the classic Father’s Day gifts were Socks & Jocks, T-Shirts, Belts, Ties or Boxer Shorts. On the odd occasion whereby his Electric Razor was broken, (and that I’d saved enough from my pocket-money and scrounged the rest from my other sisters to make this a joint gift!) we’d get him something useful! There was no point in even wrapping the gifts as they were so obvious! Now that I am all grown up and working for a living, and my Dad having recently retired, I thought “This is my time to shine! This is when I can be inventive with my gifts!”. Little did I know that this was an even bigger task than I thought! Since retirement, my Dad has had very few hobbies. He likes to walk/go hiking, cooking and watch TV (mostly sport), sometimes read the odd classic book; but that’s about it! I tried to buy him hiking boots – he didn’t like the way they fitted (they’re still in a box under the staircase – because he is STILL a typical man and does not go back to shops to RETURN things! EVER!). I tried to buy him cookbooks – he said he likes to...

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A wine a day keeps the whining away
Aug21

A wine a day keeps the whining away

I had a bad (understatement of the year!) day; everything that could go wrong went wrong! Let me set the scene for you: When you set your alarm for work to wake you up at 5:00am, you wake up at 6am and start screaming at your phone, then you realise that the alarm was set for 5:00PM instead of AM! You run for the morning commute and your heel breaks off, you arrive just in time to the office building and because you’re waiting for the lift – you’re ten minutes late, you’re making your morning cup of coffee and your mug slips and crashes on the floor! Seriously – the day carried on in that way! We’ve all been there! My experience says that after a day like that – your evening can only get better! Do you plan an evening in with your loved one and just cuddle up and watch TV? Arrange to meet friends and have an evening of dinner and conversation (albeit you will be reiterating most of your terrible day verbatim to dampen their evenings!) or spend the evening pampering yourself (whereby you’ll mull over the terrible day and wonder how you could have done it differently!).   On evenings like this, I tend to find myself with a glass of wine venting my woes to anyone who will listen (exit loved ones as they have heard it time and time again!). Seriously – pets are fantastic listeners! My cat “Bubbles” is a great conversationalist – she lets me vent and offers her meows as answers of her understanding that I am not...

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My Affair with the 8th Deadliest Sin!
Aug10

My Affair with the 8th Deadliest Sin!

  Chocolate should be named as the 8th deadly sin! This decadent piece of food is able to launch all the rest of the 7 deadly sins! I remember times in my life I would have hoarded a box of Godiva truffles for my own consumption and stared with envy when a friend was spooning a chocolate dessert in her mouth! There are many studies and health risk pamphlets that list all the do’s and don’ts for Chocolate, but I’m not writing about that. All I know is that when I’m out with friends and loved ones for a fancy meal – I’d like to finish the experience digging into a Chocolate lava cake that oozes a rich, creamy chocolate fountain when I put a spoon through it. When I’m feeling a little down, time of the month, crappy day at work, or in one of those moods of “no one understands me!”, I want to bite into a huge bar of Dairy Milk Chocolate (even better with the little nuts in it!) and pretty much mutter to myself that my Chocolate bar understands how I feel!    Do not get me wrong – men enjoy Chocolate too! But I noticed a pattern that men EAT chocolate like it’s a food source, similar to needing his meat and two veg on his plate every evening. It is sustenance food, an energy source. When it comes to Chocolate, Men eat to live, Women live to eat!    For women, Chocolate is an indulgence or in modern day language it is better known as “Food Porn”.   I asked a few girlfriends who were around in the...

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Happy Mother’s Day! Everyday!
Aug07

Happy Mother’s Day! Everyday!

I love my Mom, really I do! But oh – how she can test my patience! OH MY GOODNESS, OH MY GOODNESS, OH MY GOODNESS! The indescribable rage I have in my head right now is almost too much for me to bear. The only thing I want to do is to storm out of the house, slam the door behind me, walk up an enormous hill, and never come back to my crazy household. Seriously, I bet there are millions of young people out there who are in exactly the same position as me; when you and your Mom are having the worst fight ever, nobody is willing to back down, and all you want to do is to storm out of the front door tears streaming down your face, vowing never to come back home. On most occasions, this tantrum is shared, word for word with my best friend, as we basically experience the same situation at least a few times a month. But her situation is usually about studies, whereas mine… well, mine was actually about cookies… I mean, what’s wrong with just having a little mess in my bedroom? It’s my bedroom! I demand the right to make it look as if a clothes bomb has gone off amid the organised chaos, right? Every now and then I’ve got to add some personality to my space; after all, I am an artist and I am supposed to be rebellious and insane (sometimes!). Which is why, I like to play around with food sometimes to explore my creativity and originality… I know…it’s deep stuff, and “Drama Queen” is not my nickname! Looking...

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Food and Romance
Jul31

Food and Romance

  Food and romance – Watch out for those aphrodisiacs! Nothing is more romantic that a candlelit dinner for two in a gorgeous setting. Unless, that is, you do what I did and avoid mentioning to your date that oysters and champagne produce unfortunate effects on your digestive system. To spare those with delicate sensibilities, let’s just say I put the yak in aphrodisiac that night (and that was our last date!).We have all heard about aphrodisiacs, those foods reputed to help put us in the mood, or enhance romantic moments. Oysters, avocado, garlic, asparagus, honey, almonds, even chocolate are all in this category. If you want to avoid my unfortunate experience with oysters, or any other foods in this category, give some thought to what you plan to eat on this romantic date. Make sure you think about your date too – if you are a devotee of a honey desert with almonds and they have a nut allergy, the only happy ending to dinner will come with the epi pen at the ER. Even if you plan to keep things simple and go for the garlic at an Italian restaurant, remember that breathing fumes that can knock someone out at twenty paces is definitely not sexy. If you both have the garlic laden Marinara that’s perfect…unless, that is, you manage to slurp tomato sauce and pasta all over your nice white shirt or, even worse, splatter your date with Alfredo sauce.The most important thing about a romantic dinner is to be...

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Love and Marriage
Jul29

Love and Marriage

  Love and marriage – oil and water? I didn’t mean to annoy her by leaving my motorcycle carburettor in pieces (soaking in the kitchen sink). I’m sure I will be able to repair the hole my wrench made in the wall when I ducked after she threw it at me for getting oil on the new tea towels (when I wiped my hands after dismantling said carburettor). The oily foot prints on the hall carpet might be a more tricky proposition. I’m sure I will clean it up in time for the book club meeting she is hosting this afternoon. How was I supposed to remember that was happening today? I already apologised for eating the cookies she baked for the occasion. The whole situation brings to mind a quote from humour columnist Dave Barry: “Guys are simple…women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.” The fact is, I’m in the dog house with the Missus….again. I tried to apologise, but I’m guessing the bedroom door slamming in my face is a signal she wants some alone time. Once upon a time I was her knight in shining armour. Okay, a pretty good looking dude on a motorcycle. There was no doubt in my mind the day I asked her to marry me, flowers and ring in hand. She was (and is) the one. I just always seem to put my foot (or carburettor in it)....

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Gorgeous Grandma Day
Jul14

Gorgeous Grandma Day

Gorgeous Grandma Day While almost everyone loves their Grandmothers, many people don’t realise that there is a special day for our lovely Grans. Next week, Thursday 23 July, is Gorgeous Grandma Day. Did your dear old Gran bake you cookies or is she more of the type to teach you to skateboard? However they showed their love, everyone here at Ready Flowers would like to thank those special and influential women for their unconditional love, treats and hugs. To honor Grans that rock, following are some wise grandma tidbits from HelloGiggles. 1. Make today a good day.     Age certainly hasn’t slowed down 95 year-old yoga instructor, Tao Porchon-Lynch. With over 70 years of experience teaching yoga, Tao continues to thrive in both body and mind. Her daily mantra? “This is going to be the best day of my life.” Sometimes, making the decision to be great rather than expecting greatness to find you is much more effective. Who’s got time for waiting, anyway?   2. It’s never too late to start something new.     Would you have guessed this woman is 77 years old? Yep, seventy-seven, and that’s not even the half of it. Ernestine Shepherd started working out a mere 21 years ago, and was subsequently named the oldest female body builder in the Guinness Book of World Records in 2010. So, was it too late to start body building at 56? For Ernestine . . . naaah.   3. Some of the greatest things in...

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KISS!
Jul03

KISS!

  I’m a romantic at heart. I love flowers and chocolates, strolling by the river in the moonlight hand in hand with my dream date on a warm Summer evening. Wait. I have never actually had a date like that. Here’s how my inflated dreams of romance and perfect dating go when I try to make them a reality. The more convoluted my plans, the more disastrous the outcome. Juggling flowers and chocolates is never easy, especially when I really want to be holding the hand of that dream date. Sticky hands and crushed blossoms are not the enduring memories I want to store up for tales of our romance. Walks by the river in the moonlight? Forget it. Unless my date likes eau de bug spray, the mosquito infested river is out. Not to mention the time I got carried away with happiness and danced a romantic twirl after a first kiss…right off the crumbling bank of the stream we were walking alongside. Squelching back to the car in ruined shoes was not the lasting impression I wanted to leave. Yet, something odd happened in the midst of disaster. Romance was found in the gentle touch of my date helping me out of the stream, and in the dry boat shoes (three sizes too big) that my date loaned to me that evening. We laughed (what else can you do when you look such a wreck?!). Love was found on subsequent excursions when dating plans were kept simple and focused on getting to know each other rather than the grand...

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